HOW TO NETWORK WHEN YOU DON’T LIKE NETWORKING

We know that the nature of people is divided into two, namely introverts and extroverts. Maybe for an extrovert to networking is very easy because they are accustomed to talking to other people they might have just met. But not with someone who is introverted, for example me. In my opinion it is more fun to stay home than to have to communicate with others even with new people. But of course it will not benefit those of us who work in groups or who are currently looking for work. Networking is very important. Therefore, I took the course on how to introvert can do networking from Linked in Learning by How to Be Awesome at Your Job and make some notes that might be useful for you who are introverted.

First thing is, Work with Your Natural Temperament.

Networking is not exclusively for extroverts, but introverts too. As a matter of fact, the majority of people, traditional networking advice does not resonate with them and they do far better, by honoring who they are and accepting their natural temperament. Traditional advice says get out there as much as possible, constant contact, and never eat meal alone. But actually, it didn’t work for introvert. So, if you work with understand who you are and then create a system that honors how you get energy. For example, introverts get energy alone whereas extroverts get energy with others.

Contrasting Introverts and Extroverts

There are three differences between introverts and extroverts and my system of networking is really focused on this dimension.

1. Introverts think to talk and extroverts talk to think. Introverts energize alone and extroverts energize with others.

2. And introverts go deep, deeper into fewer relationships, fewer interests, less activity

around them. That does not mean they're less active. It just means less competing action for the brain. And extroverts are the opposite, they talk to think, they energize with others, and they go wide. They like a lot of people, a lot of action, a lot going on. So, if you know that you think to talk, what you have to do is prepare in advance some good questions, to practice what you’re going to say, to get familiar with typical topics people might raise at this event and be prepared with answers.

3. Also, if introverts tend to be more private and they don't want to talk about themselves as much, they can spend more time thinking of great questions to ask other people. And if you don't like talking about how wonderful you are, you can show people instead by demonstrating an authentic interest in other people.

If you want to make them interesting, questions that people want to answer and that you're actually interested in hearing the response to. So, avoid the kind of old questions that are a little dull, like, "What do you do?" That's really basic. So, with a slight twist you can say, "What's your favorite part of your work?" And suddenly the person comes alive, they're talking about something they're passionate about, it's more interesting to listen to. So that's an example of a good, well-formed question. So, start with general questions and then let the other person who you're talking to decide how specific to get. And they might get more and more specific the more comfortable both of you are in the conversation.

Feel Free to Eat Alone

It's a popular saying which is to "Never eat a meal alone". That every meal's a networking opportunity." So, that's good advice for really strong extroverts, people who identify strongly with extroversion. It doesn't work for the introverts, and it allows them to not have time to reenergize. So, if you need time alone, allow yourself to have a meal alone if that energizes you. And to encourage you to think of it as either one. Don't arrive starving, it's okay to eat a little bit, but there's many, many networking mishaps that you've been privy too that include food and being too eager to start eating.

Avoid Messes from Food and Drink

Good rule of thumb for the most part, and it is "eat before, drink after". That means eat something before the event, and then maybe a couple of simple things at the event, things that are less likely to cause a mess, and then drink after the event. You just want to be aware of that when you're at an event, that it might feel like a party, but it's still a business experience.

Arrive Early, Get Oriented, and Help Out

Giving yourself a little time to yourself, also reframe your mind, everyone's not focused on you. Also, make yourself available to others. Then make yourself comfortable standing at one of them and have a friendly expression to allow other people who are wandering out to maybe come over and talk to you, that's one thing you can do. Also, to be looking around with a pleasant expression on your face and you'll have those questions prepared, and to keep an eye on people's name tags. Often name tags have interesting information, either what someone does or where they're from.

If you're there uncomfortable at networking events to do something counter intuitive, and that is to get to the event early instead of late, because early on there are fewer crowds, less noisy, easier to get into conversation, and it's a little calmer. So if you get there on the earlier side you have another benefit of looking at, usually there's name tag tables set up somewhere, to see who's coming if there's someone you want to meet or someone you haven't seen in a while that you didn't know was coming, that's something to get you centered and to occupy yourself for the first few minutes when you arrive.

Before the event if you have the opportunity to see if you can be helpful in some way. Either volunteer formally or informally. That not only positions you as a helpful person but also gives you something to do and something to talk about at the event as a volunteer. Example, as a volunteer you can make some suggestions and then also remember to thank them for all their hard work and you will be surprised how often people will give you something to do and it's helping you as much as it's helping them, because suddenly you have a purpose.

Don’t Monopolize People or Converstations

Something to be cautious about is when some who's more introverted meets someone that they feel a connection to, a potential hazard is that then they'll just want to stick with that person the rest of the program. It's such a relief, like oh my gosh, here's someone I connect to, 'cause I might not connect to so many people. You can learn from love qoute, "If you love someone, set them free". Even though it's been lovely, end the conversation before everyone's gotten run out of topics, or has gotten weary of each other. And a little side advice for extroverts, when you're in conversation thinks maybe there's an imbalance of conversation when meeting people, says to yourself, "Wait." W-A-I-T, and it stands for: why am I talking?

Ask Positive, Open-Ended Questions

Always favor asking questions and, if given the opportunity, open-ended questions as opposed to close-ended questions. Also make sure that what you're saying is in the positive. So just take note of it, next time you're out and about.

Try and take a moment before you speak, and think, is this positive. Not to be fake, but what's something positive you can say. How can you be positive and helpful, and be someone that people want to be around, as opposed to someone who's looking at what's wrong all the time. So be careful about that in conversation.

Pause to Take Notes for Follow Up

When you are meeting with people, it might be easy at the end of the conversation just to delve into another conversation. If you just spoke to someone you really do want to keep in touch with, then get their card if they have one and take a moment to just write down a couple of notes to yourself on the front of the card about where you met them, what you talked about, and what you might be able to follow up on. So give yourself little timeouts to focus your brain.

Prioritize Connecting Over Collecting for Better Follow Up

Be specific, and remember to value  connecting over collecting.  So, it's not about how many cards you collect.  It's about who you connect with, and how deep  those connections are.

So, instead of reaching out to everyone who you touched bases with in the conference, pick a couple of people. Authentic individual specific follow-up. And in the follow-up, make it short.

One thing to be careful about is to not think you're offering someone something when it's really you asking for something. So, you want to make sure that it's really focused on what the other person is interested in. Also, to that end, you say, if you want to follow-up with someone and maybe have more time with them, make it easy for the person to say yes.

You can be brilliant networker. You can talk to anyone about anything. If you're not following-up, you're not networking. It doesn't matter if you're great at speaking off the cuff. What matters is what happens the next day. Are you in touch afterwards? Did you build a meaningful relationship with that person? Is it mutually beneficial? So, nothing can happen if you're just having a good time at the event or maybe dreading the event, and then it just vanishes into a black hole. So, the key to anything happening is follow-up.

Make New Connections Through Shared Interest

Look at those old interests you had, and see if you can find ways to revive them as you get older and busier. So, to reawaken things that you enjoyed doing. So, it's not just about I'm going to meet people, which is lovely, but it's also about cultivating an interest that you authentically have and would like to learn more about or become more proficient in.

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How to Be Awesome at Your Job is career development podcast hosted by Pete Mockaitis that focused on professional development and life skills.

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Reference:

https://www.linkedin.com/learning/how-to-network-when-you-don-t-like-networking/make-new-connections-through-shared-interests