INSECURITY FROM YOUR OWN FAMILY

Foto: Eny Immanuella Gloria/ells.photo

From vocabulary.com we know that insecurity is a feeling of uncertainty, a lack of confidence or anxiety about yourself, the anxiety you experience when you feel vulnerable and insecure, and the state of being subject or injury.

Insecure can come from everything, every section in your life. Insecure can come from your friend, your work, your group, when you scrolling on your social media you can be insecure, even from your own family. And it's so pathetic. You know that for some people out there, like me, a family is everything. Everything that your family says about you can be something that encourages you, but at the same time, it can be something that makes you fall into the deepest hole, which is insecurity.

We don't realize that family can make us feel insecure because we just think that's a joke and we don't have to feel and think about it. But for some people, that's not a joke at all. That's a mockery that can make sense of insecurity appear if it continues to do repeatedly. For example, when your family said about your body...

"You're so fat"

"Go look at the mirror how fat you are"

"You were thin, why are you fat now"

"ugh, look you so fat!"

"Do plank, so you can get skinny"

"In your age, mama look so skinny, not fat like you now"

"Why does your face spotty, while your sister is not spotty"

or about your life right now, especially when you're in the same state at me, we are fresh graduates and looking for jobs, they said...

"kamu cari kerja ga sih? kok belum ada panggilan kerja?"

"kemarin mama liat ada lowongan kerja tuh"

"kata temen-temen mama lowongan kerja di media emang lama kak"

"kamu daftar dong tuh ditempat saudara kamu lagi ada lowongan"

"kamu harusnya gini dong, biar cepet dapet kerja"

"temen-temen kamu udah dapet kerja, kok kamu belum?"

or as simple as your family comparing you with other family members.

And then when you feel hurt because what they said, they tell you

"that's just a joke, don't make it big, don't make it like a big problem, just a joke bruh".

"Why you have to be so sensitive?"

"Baperan banget lo, gue kan bercanda"

They say that as if we never tried.

Never trying to improve ourselves, never trying to find work, and others.

After that, you start to compare yourself with others because of what your family said to you. You feel insecure. You feel like everyone is so much better than yourself. The only thing you can see is another person. Other people get jobs first, others who can stand on their own feet, others who can buy things with their sweat. Other people are happier than yourself. And what you can feel is why other people can, why I'm cannot. What's wrong with me?. I already did everything. But why? why I'm no success. I'm still left behind.

And you unconsciously lose yourself. You no longer know yourself. You cannot control your emotions. Mood swings are common for you until you forget that it's not good.

You become insecure in everything because your family doesn't trust you, what about others? You become afraid of other people's responses to you.

From here you realize how strong the impact that is given from every word that comes out of your own family's mouth. You become afraid to tell your family about your life because you know that what will come out of their mouths are insults, ridicule, not encouragement to strengthen you.

References:

https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/insecurity

#insecurity #insecure #family